Powerful or exercises power at times?

I am not sure if I am really all that powerful, but I feel like I do have some "serious pull" at times. I feel like I need to be passionate about what I am doing to be a leader. I have a hard time trying to get people, or even myself to do really mundane tasks if there is no larger goal, or importance behind the situation. However, on the other hand, when I am interested in the subject, or passionate about something... that is another story.

For some reason, when I get into something, it just invigorates me and when working with a team I want to get everyone on the same page. I feel like I am able to because not only do I care, but I show that I care. I have to agree with the "poses" of power because when I am driven, I use those tactics. This then helps fuel the fire, and everything builds upon itself, but as I stated before, if I don't believe, I just can't get started.

Is this then real power? I think so, but I don't think it means I am powerful. Maybe it is because I envision true leaders as people who are always leading, no matter what, like a ship's captain staying on a sinking ship. For some reason I couldn't see myself doing that. I don't know if that is because I'm self serving, or if that is just a place I would never position myself in because I know I don't want to be a captain for various reasons.

Overall, I want to become proficient with power for two reasons. One because I like working in groups and I feel like some one who is good with power, and really understands power can also be a great team player. For example, if you are working on a project and you know you need help, you will ask for it. Where as some one who doesn't understand power will just try to brute force through the situation or just ignore it all together. this is an area I feel I am decent at, but would like to improve at because humility is a big part of "truly" being powerful in my eyes.

The second reason why I would like to understand, and be able to use power is so that I can control myself in situations of power. This may be a way of rephrasing the first part. But I really do not want to be power hungry or abuse the power I build up for myself. After having a few bosses on power-trips, I feel that there is nothing more that I dislike than some one who is abusing their power.