This blog topic is extremely interesting for me since I have been mulling over perceptions about me in my family. Mind bugs can be a tricky thing. Human perception is sometimes dangerous especially for people like me who tend to upraise and judge things at face value. However I would like to concentrate on people's perception of me. Ever since I got married, I have noticed that there have been very wrong perceptions of me in my husband's family which I have pondered over, spent time on and have wanted to understand.
I am a very non confrontational person and avoid any sort of controversies like a plague. This is simply because these situations make me very uncomfortable. In my husband's family, everyone is strong and communicate firmly with an edge just to make sure their point comes across as a very important one. They tend to be pushy and not necessarily polite. Since I do not have these qualities, I have noticed that their perception of me is that I am a push over. What they fail to understand is that I am just trying to be polite and respectful but that does not necessarily mean that I do not have opinions of my own and have an identity of my own.
Although I have never confronted any of the family members who do this, I do realize that I have been getting frustrated over the years now.
An incident from my husband's office - my husband's peer team had a new employee and for some reason people did not perceive him to have any other general knowledge other than the subject which was his major (as is the perception of most engineers as far as I have known). In a regular conversation people found out that he has a strong understanding of world history, considerable knowledge bank of philosophers around the world and the evolution of the subject over the years, evolution of art over the years etc. My husband came home to tell me about his new found respect for this employee with his vast areas of interests.
Most of the world, like me, judge things and people at face value. They do believe (as observed in class the other day with 90% of the student) that the 2 tables are different and not the same even after measuring them. It is unfortunate that all of us still see the 2 monsters on the screen in your slide show and get more wary of the mind perceived larger one although both of them were the same in size, some of us still perceive African Americans as people belonging to a more aggressive group and I still go up to Egyptians and ask if the see pyramids all over Egypt when we know the pyramids are in Giza alone.
How Priya's in-laws see her is related to perception and an earlier class conversation about Power and how loud opinions can sometimes gain power just by being unchallenged. But I wonder if the perception of her as a pushover, or someone weaker is also affected by the gender inequity that I perceive as existing within the culture.
ReplyDeleteEchoing what she said about her husband's coworker, I think most people see others, especially at work, as how they relate to themselves, rather than seeing others as whole people. My perceptions of work related individuals are all based on how they perform and act. I give very little credence to what people say, as it's been my experience that some people just talk and never deliver.
I also agree with Priya's desire to avoid conflict. She, like me, puts relationships above petty issues and arguments. There is definitely a time to stand up for your opinions, but sometimes quiet or no reaction to an argument, followed by going your own way, is the best solution for future amity.
Hey Joi, I agree with you every step of the way. In fact my post for today is what we discussed this morning....
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